I have never blogged before but I would like to start. The first thing I must talk about I suppose is how Satan very nearly ruined my Eternal marriage.
We had been married for 12 years and had 4 children. We had many fights and were at the point of divorce after having been sealed in the temple years before. Neither of us had been to the temple in years and, though we attended church regularly, we did not live the gospel outside of sunday. My wife's love had been conditional our whole marriage. She had come into the marriage expecting a perfect man. I was not and am not perfect. I tried to meet her needs but her constant searching for some reason why I was not right started to wear on me. I turned to outside activities to take my mind off of what was happening.
I was never abusive and I tried my hardest to be supportive of her when she was having issues with herself but, no matter what I did, it never seemed enough. I wasn't studying the scriptures, we didn't say prayers as a couple or a family. We didn't do family home evening. There was contention in our home. Between my wife and I. With our children. I grew irritable and had outbursts of yelling. I became dismissive to my wife and we argued a lot.
She finally told me that it was over. That divorce was the answer. She had prayed about it and she was as happy as she could be to say that God wanted her to leave. I was shocked but at the same time I said, fine, this is the end and we'll both be happier.
Happily for me our bishop talked to me and set me on a course back to repentance and faith. As I prayed, honestly prayed to heavenly father for the first time in a long time, I was told with no uncertainty that our marriage, our family should not be abandoned. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted out of the pain. My wife said she did not love me. She started connecting with a man that she had known years before, even though he was married as well. She poured her time and energy into texting him, facebooking with him, finding reasons to see him.
I was devastated. She did not love me. How could God want us to stay together. But he did. I began to study the scriptures. I began to pray with my heart. I started reading scriptures with my family, doing family home evening. I turned myself back over to the lord. My wife did not care at first, she was getting the approbation and identity she needed from her "friend". They were not physical, yet. But she was leading down that path.
Little by little, God showed her that the happiness and giddiness she was feeling in this new relationship was not what he wanted. That Satan was leading her little by little down the path that would eventually lead to misery. This man made her feel good, but through repentance and faith I had become the man God had intended for our family. She was able to see that, though she felt she had married me for uncertain reasons, he did not want our family to fail. He let her see that, though this man made her feel good and "happy" it was truly Satan's subtle guile to lead to the destruction of our Eternal Family and perhaps the family of that man as well. He was not a member of the church but he was taking the energies that should have been aimed at his wife and devoting them to mine.
My wife saw the change in me and realized that God does want families to be eternal and that repentance and forgiveness would avoid the circumstance where our children would suffer and perhaps be led away from the truth of the gospel as well. The road was not easy and she believed that her momentary happiness in her relationship with that man would fill her eternal needs but God provided a work in her and more importantly in me. Our relationship is stronger than ever. We have truly found love in each other that is eternal because we turned ourselves to God. The world says divorce is the answer. Though there are times when it might be (adultery, physical abuse, lack of remorse and repentance for offenses) it is almost never the answer. Especially when one or both parties seek repentance and forgiveness and turn their lives to God.
We were able to attend the temple and perform sealings for those that had passed and in doing so reaffirm the covenants that we made so many years ago that we had lost.
Families are worth saving> Temporary happiness is never a substitute for eternal happiness.
